FAKE NEWS: First Annual Computer Cart Ramp Race Ends in Disaster
Don’t worry, Mr. President—it’s supposed to be this way
The LHS RAMp reflects symmetry and order, both of which were disturbed last Tuesday, when Carts two and ten careened into each other, after being pushed by two LHS students.
BAM!
CRASH!
THUNK!
Although cart number two lost the race, it was the Lafayette janitorial staff that took the “L” following a horrific crash between laptop carts two and ten on Tuesday, October 24, 2017, during the first ever computer cart ramp race. No students nor laptops were injured during the event.
The historic race began around 9:30 on Tuesday morning, when two students rode two laptop carts down the ramp connecting the upper and lower commons. The carts reportedly crashed into the wall adjacent to the 300s hallway, resulting in serious damage to a water fountain, and minor dents to the cart. “It was supposed to be a joyous event,” one student remarked, “but it’s apparent that there was an overall lack of planning… and thinking.”
The LHS technical staff has reported that despite damages to the cart, all laptops are functioning properly. “It’s quite impressive that the laptops aren’t damaged,” said a member of the tech staff, “they might not work well, but at least they’re indestructible!”
Another source from the WJCC school division commented on the strength of Lafayette’s interior design, which prevented any major harm to the walls of the school. “It’s designed like a bomb shelter—or a jail—whichever you prefer,” stated the source, “hence the cinderblock walls.” In any case, ramp surveillance has doubled, with two security officers watching the ramp at all times in order to prevent any other computer cart related shenanigans. The Lafayette Administration has declined to comment on the event, but upon hearing about the crash, Dr. Nunally reportedly sighed with aggravation as she asked herself, “why did I sign up for this?”
